Always....Alone....

Every morning I wake up to see Sloan asleep next to me, no time to hug or kiss because I must get Caroline and Jase out of their beds before their loud yells wake him. I take care of them by myself all day while Sloan sleeps. Trying my best to be as quiet as I can not to wake him. I go about my day by myself until Sloan wakes up, an hour before he has to leave. That hour is the fastest of my day. We try to catch each other up on what is going on in our lives like we don't even live together. Then he's off to work until late in the night. Again I am by myself to take care of the kids, cook, clean, and do my homework. The house is loud until 8 pm of crying, laughing and high shrills, then dead silence fills the house. I sit alone doing homework and random things online. A few times I may here the buzz of my phone...a simple "I love you" text from Sloan. The hours seem to crawl past as I listen to the heater turn off and on, the pages in my books being flipped and the typing of my keyboard. I pray for the weekend to come, always to hear the words "I have to work". I'm not complaining, this has been my life for years, I am just simply describing my days. Without the smiles ans laughs of my beautiful children...I don't know what I would do...