I need to vent, simple as that.
The past three weeks Sloan has not had a single day off, no I am not exaggerating. He works from 3 pm till 3 am if he is lucky, but this past week he has not been home till 6 am or later. Finally this week he was told he was going to have Saturday off, YES! Something to look forward too! Last night though he came home at 1 am, so excited, only 30 mins later to be called BACK into work. Not sure when he got home, but this morning he said he wanted to do something with us. We finally chose to go to Wilmington, an hour away, to shop and do whatever for the day. We were about to get the kids in the car when....his phone rings....guess who has to go into work?! SLOAN! That just sent me through the roof!
Yes I get this is the Marine Corps, if they wanted Marines to have families they would issue them, I get it. I have been living this life for almost 4 years, I GET IT! But you know what I am at home taking care of two BABIES by myself every single day far away from family, never getting a break, and on top of that I have homework! Don't even start with that whole "well at least he's not deployed" because if he was deployed it would be a hell of alot better than this because I would be in TEXAS! I would have family to help me with the kids so I am not loosing my fucking mind!!! I have some awesome neighbors who I miss hanging out with but since I can not get anything done during the day I do it all at night while the kids sleep. Which means I don't get to see them, so no adult conversations for me!
What really pisses me off about all this?! That I am the ONLY 204 wife, the only fucking one! Other husbands were sent to other squadrons to work less a long time ago. The rest of the guys are SINGLE and have no one to come home too. Make them fucking work not my HUSBAND! He has someone to go home to the rest don't! They just go out drinking because they are young. Yes I know I am only 22 but at 204 they call us old. We are an old couple because Sloan has been in the Marines for 5 years, yes I do not understand why we are old to them but whatever. I am just so damn sick of all this bullshit of him working every single day. I never ever see him because he's either at work or asleep. Jase never sees him and does not understand why he only gets to hug him once a day. You know what he asks me every single day? "Why doesn't daddy love me?" My two year old son asks me that! I tell him constantly that daddy does love him he just busy right now. He has a 204 patch like Sloan wears to work, he will put it on, turn to me and say "I want to be with my daddy at work". Breaks my heart everyday to hear such a sad little voice say those things to me.
204 prides themselves in saying they are supportive in their 204 wives, I can't tell you how many times I have been told this by them, but if they cared they wouldn't be making the only married guy work so much. And I am sure that someone is reading this thinking he is cheating on me, no he is not he really is working.
I just have to keep telling myself one more month of this...just one more month...